i FINALLY heard back from Lehman Grad school .. they want me to go in for an interview on Wed morning -____- .. i dont even know what to expect .. i swear to god if my bullshitting skills fail me now for this interviewill kill myself.. they said its a group interview and becuase im so loud and bubbly im sure they will remmeber me.. i just hope i say the right things =/ .. too bad i cant take D’Anca and Lawler with me and just have them answer the questions that would be pretty amazing. lmfao … but for right now im trying to think POSITIVEE .. good things come to those whove wait and ive waited for about a month and a half to hear from them !!
every sunday i have my little rutine of the reality shows i watch. first i watch mob wives at 10 then saddle ranch and then audrina. My emotions were under COMPLETE controll untill fucking Audrinas dad gave his wife a wedding ring at dinner -______-
Then of course they start talking about how happily married they have been for the past 26 years && Audrina points out how rare it is that people stay married.. Audrinas dad is telling his wife no matter how crazy she gets he loved her all these years and he will always love her && thaaaaaaaaaaaaaats when i LOST IT.
i used to be the typical girl that used to dream about her wedding day. i knew what dress i wanted where i wanted to get married what i wanted my husband’s tux to look like everything to the FUCKING TEE i obsessed over. && its so sad to realize how my view on marriage and love lasting forever has changed so dramatically. it didnt change cause im a bitter bitch or cuase im upset at something.. it changed becuase of REALITY.
UGHHHHHH wedding stuff used to make me SOOOO happy. I LOVED thinking about it… now i dont even want to look at a wedding dress or hear the word marriage cuase i just associate it with failure.
“Change. We don’t like it. We fear it, but we can’t stop it from coming. We either adapt to change or we get left behind. It hurts to grow, anybody who tells you it doesn’t is lying, but here’s the truth sometimes the more things change the more they stay the same. And sometimes, oh, sometimes change is good. Sometimes change is everything.”—Grey’s Anatomy (Meredith)